Your Kindle and your Bank Account - you should read this!
Well, that was some excitement.
About an hour ago, I got 3 e-mails in a row, thanking me for my purchase of this trilogy via my Kindle. I had a bit of a freakout, wondering if there was some way that people were able to clone Kindle’s the way they did with cell phones back in the day. I had a fun time with a very nice lady at Amazon who suggested that my credit card must be stolen or that I clearly must have logged into a public PC somewhere and left myself logged into Amazon. Which I had to patiently and kindly explain to her didn’t make sense, because A) No, I didn’t leave myself logged in anywhere, and B) If you did manage to get access to my account, why is it that you would then purchase me several e-books? I just got my kindle yesterday, was there something I did wrong in setting it up?
Maybe it was my wife’s Kindle – I checked, and the books hadn’t shown up there. We both had been playing with some Kindle-related Chrome toolbars, maybe there’s something unsecure there? Could Amazon show me account activity by IP? Because I know what subnets we log in from – and no, they can’t show you that information. Could we put some sort of child lock or region lock on purchases? Actually, no – Amazon can’t do that. When I asked why, they said that they do that so they can then pride themselves on being able to deliver a book to someone in 30 seconds or less.
Even if it’s the wrong someone.
I had both my wife’s Kindle and my Kindle sitting in front of me, when the Amazon rep read off the names of the Kindle’s, and I realized that one wasn’t in front of me. You see, I purchased my Kindle over 2 weeks ago, but the delivery date came and went. And when I checked the tracking number, it had merely been transmitted to the courier, but never picked up by them. Nevertheless, Amazon was dogged in that I had to wait a week. And so I did, with no changes to that tracking #... and then a replacement was sent out free of charge. But, and this is the important part, that lost Kindle was already activated to my account and attached to my credit card. Amazon wants you to be able to start purchasing from them right away, which I get. But that’s dangerous, as has been illustrated by the above. Someone stole my Kindle in transit to me, and was able to make purchases without any sort of verification process at all. It’s only because I got e-mail notifications of the purchases that I knew what was going on, and I’m absolutely bloody paranoid about anything. I almost wrote it off, thinking my wife had bought it, until I looked at the titles and realized that they had nothing to do with her tastes at all.
The good news is that Amazon has disconnected that Kindle from my account, although I’m grumpy that they simply didn’t do so the moment they issued a replacement when the first was “lost” in transit.
The better news is that before they did that, I was able to use the “Send to Kindle” function. And what did I send? A word document entitled “HEY FUCKNUTS!”, letting them know that Amazon can track the location of Kindle’s through Whispernet. Is that true? I don’t know – but if you’re dumb enough to steal a seriously networked device like a Kindle, you may not be fully aware of how much they can and cannot track devices. And maybe you’ll spend an hour freaking out… just like I did.
But the fact remains: In the interest of facilitating commerce at light speed, Amazon made my bank account vulnerable on a device that was stolen (both potentially, and eventually actually stolen), and they couldn’t provide the tools to help me either place safeguards, or provide IP address information for where my credentials have been used. I have a problem with this, and you should too.
Edit: If anyone from Amazon reads this, it should be noted that the rep I dealt with was fantastic, and did everything she could with what she knew and had access to. It was clear that she shared my concern, and I spent an hour on the phone with her while she talked to several people trying to find out how to answer my questions and needs. Amazon, the company, may ultimately be getting some serious side-eye from me, but Gina the rep was awesome. I don't even want to know how infuriating this would have been if she hadn't cared, but she did. Thank you Gina!
"Holland's Nazi Lust Torturers!"
There are so many hilarious things about this picture:
1) I can accept that being strapped to a windmill and spun around is torture, but how is this lustful?
2) These are NAZI LUST TORTURERS. Really? That’s your uniform and insignia?
3) You have many objects of sexual lust at your artistic disposal, and you’re going with a windmill in HOLLAND. That’s your “Escape to an exotic paradise”. How, exactly, does one go about getting kinked into a windmill fetish?
4) Is she? Let me ask my wife. (Hint, the answer is NO)
5) WHAT BIZARRE FATHERHOOD RACKET?
Thanks to googling “bizarre fatherhood racket exposed”, I’ve found more pics – and a copy for sale on eBay, no less…
God dammit, I love the internet. I really do.
Links for Friday (FRIDAY!%$#@%!), 1/27/2012
Addicting Info - Anti-Gay Pastor Claims Same-Sex Marriage Will Lead To Pedophilia And Bestiality:
The blindingly obvious fallacy here is that a horse cannot consent. Neither can a child or a rock or a dog. Religious fanatics labor under the delusion that since they themselves would not consent (at least, not openly), no one else would either, so homosexuality must be coerced in some fashion. And no, this fallacy would not apply to polygamy since all parties, hypothetically, would be consenting adults. I’m not advocating for or against, but what consenting adults do in their homes is none of my business.
Hutcherson made these claims during a televised debate so they’ll be no excuses of “I misspoke.” He televised his ignorance and hate for all to see. And with all the problems we face as a country, stopping marriage equality shouldn’t even be an issue. Claims that homosexuality leads to pedophilia and bestiality has no basis in fact whatsoever. It’s just a viscous lie perpetuated by the bigoted and hateful Right Wing in an effort to force their twisted version of Biblical law upon the American people. Too bad so many on the Right are willing to believe it.
PandoDaily - Page Rage Escalates As Google Cancels Twitter Android Meeting:
Once again, the obsession with Google+ appears clouding the company’s stated mission. Android’s whole raison d’être is to be the more open alternative to Apple. Fighting with one of the world’s most important mobile applications to prop up a competitive product is shortsighted at best and blatantly anti-competitive at worst.
Sadly, Google can get away with these kinds of tactics on the search engine more easily, because Google has such a strong entrenched position there. But Android’s hold on the market is far more tenuous. If Google starts alienating core applications, it’ll reflect poorly on Android’s user experience, greatly benefitting the iPhone.
Violet Blue/Pulp Tech - Google’s Pseudonym Problem: New Implementation Revealed:
Welcome to the poor man’s pseudonym: functional, not famous. You could technically argue that Google Plus does now allow certain kinds of pseudonyms - only under specific conditions. Famous people are fine. Everyone else is seated at the kids’ table until further notice. I think that Google is simply attempting to redefine “pseudonym” without the protections a functional pseudonym affords with all that pesky anonymity. Pseudonyms used by everyday people are a cornerstone of Internet culture - in many cases, they are key to what makes Internet culture possible and great. Google+ will only ever be as great as it allows the Internet to be itself inside Google’s walled garden.
Family Research Council president Tony Perkins has taken Star Wars: The Old Republic to task for allowing gay relationships in the game. Anyone who isn't in a special interest group like Family Research Council and has paid attention to the way BioWare does things, knows that this is nothing new, of course. In one of his recent daily radio broadcast Perkins attacked the option for same-sex relationships, saying "in a new Star Wars game, the biggest threat to the empire may be homosexual activists!"
Comment: Did he just say homosexual activists are our only hope against the Sith?
The Washington Post - Ron Paul signed off on racist newsletters in the 1990s, associates say:
A person involved in Paul’s businesses, who spoke on condition of anonymity to avoid criticizing a former employer, said Paul and his associates decided in the late 1980s to try to increase sales by making the newsletters more provocative. They discussed adding controversial material, including racial statements, to help the business, the person said. “It was playing on a growing racial tension, economic tension, fear of government,’’ said the person, who supports Paul’s economic policies but is not backing him for president. “I’m not saying Ron believed this stuff. It was good copy. Ron Paul is a shrewd businessman.’’ It is unclear precisely how much money Paul made from his newsletters, but during the years he was publishing them, he reduced his debts and substantially increased his net worth, according to his congressional and presidential disclosure reports. In 1984, he reported debt of up to $765,000, most of which was gone by 1995, when he reported a net worth of up to $3.3 million. Last year, he reported a net worth up to $5.2 million.
JWZ – The latest Twitter nonsense:
"But," you may say, "They have no choice but to obey the law in all the countries in which they have offices." That's true, but I must have missed the article about someone holding a gun to their head and forcing them to open offices there. So they chose to make themselves an uncomfortable bed to lie in. How about that.
When you're in the business of providing a communications medium -- or, if you happen to have a moral compass of any kind -- there are some people you just shouldn't do business with, because it makes you part of the problem.
The Guardian - The Dukes of Hazzard star who could destroy Newt Gingrich ... again:
Jones sounded the alarm about Gingrich's dodgy practices in September 1994 at a time when he was locked in his own bitter electoral battle with the speaker over a congressional seat in Georgia. Jones, who by then had served two terms in Congress as a Democratic member having turned to politics after the Dukes of Hazzard went off the air, presented the House ethics committee with 450 pages of documents that proved to be incendiary.
They revealed that Gingrich had used charitable donations that were tax-deductible to fund his own political ambitions to launch a conservative revolution in America – a violation of the law that does not allow political activities to be written off against tax.
Comment: Dear diary… today I said “GO COOTER!” out loud. So that’s off the bucket list.
xoJane – It Happened To Me: I Eloped:
Planning to elope means having a giant happy secret that you actually kind of want to tell people, especially when they give you grief over living in sin with your partner. Planning to elope also means you kind of never want to tell anyone who gives you grief over living in sin with your partner. It means you anticipate the day of your marriage without juggling the planning of a wedding. It means your finances, especially if they are precarious, aren't extra burdened by trying to through an impressive party for other people.
Today's Imaginary Band Name
Pansexual Blacksmith
As eloquently put by Tanya Regan:
Thanks to Tanya Regan for remixing Hyperbole and a Half.
Friday Cheese: The soundtrack of eternity
Oh it's late, and you are so tired, so very tired. You've been working late again, and there's an ache in your eyes that just can't quite be banished, no matter how you squint or stare or try to re-focus. Your head feels as if it's lined with velvet, cat hair, and taffy - it's so hard to think right now, and every though makes you brush the insides of your head. So you try not to think so hard, so you can avoid that dreadful mess.
You're driving home. Home - where your bed and your comforts and your real life are waiting for you, not this silly existence you loan yourself to in exchange for financial compensation. Your lovely bed. Your comfy bed. And sleep, you can't stop thinking about it - you're not drowsy (not that you can tell), but you almost lust for that delicious feeling of being perfectly wrapped up in a warm bed, so you can feel your batteries recharge. It's practically sexual, you can't help but dwell on it, because holding that blanket as you drift off into sleep would be just like spooning against a lover.
Which is why you find it hard to believe that a few milliseconds ago, your car has hit a patch of black ice, and that spinning sensation isn't exhaustion, it's you as your car rotates around, out of control. Is it gas-brake? Is it brake-brake? Is it just holding down the brake pedal? Do you turn into the spin or outside of it? You try to remember desperately. And then it's too late, because there's a CRUMP! noise as a dent appears in the roof of your car, and you realize that you've already gone over the embankment, your car tumbling down a rocky hill.
You finally come to a stop, but as the blood rushes to your head, you realize you're hanging upside down. The dome light inside the car won't turn on, it must have been damaged in the crash. Your ears are ringing and the blood is pounding in them as well, but your brain is screaming at you to listen, LISTEN! And that's when you hear the gurgling of water - it's sneaking in through every vent and crack and ingress, and it's rising. You can't see anything, but you feel that sudden chill as it touches your scalp.
Deja-vu suddenly floods through you, as you realize that you've been dreaming about this day in your subconscious all your life. As you kick and struggle to free yourself from your seatbelt, you start kicking and screaming and rebelling in your head. But it's no use - part of you knows that long ago and far away, this was written. You're going to die.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
Still, you keep thrashing as the water comes up over your forehead. You push and struggle as it comes up over your nose, and you start to lose control as your body senses that it's drowning. It covers your mouth, and even though every nerve is on fire with the urgent need to escape, you can feel how soul-stealingly cold it is. Your lungs burn, as you finally undo the seatbelt, but as you fall down, your traitorous body opens your mouth and your lungs inhale before you can even stop. And it's too late - there's no air left, no room to push the water out of your lungs. As you panic out the last bit of oxygen, you feel yourself separating from what's happening, seeing it move away, like you're in a wheelchair being backed away from a theater screen.
Consciousness slips away, and you stop knowing anything.
For awhile, at least. Because feeling is coming back into your brain, sliding hot fingers of wakefulness back in to the cold unthought. You jerk awake, the terror of your last moments still folded around you, and then realize that there, that when, it's gone. But where and when are you now? Dimly, as someone accidentally jostles you in the ribs, you come to realize you're in a barely lit room... or hall... or... where, exactly? Because you can see vague shapes of others around you, but you can't see walls or... floors, or ceilings for that matter. It's just dark, but not dark enough to see that the people nearest you share what you are sure is the same stunned look of slight terror, and uncomprehending bewilderment.
Suddenly, there's a CRACK! of thunder. Everyone jumps. And then... that's when you hear it...
And you know exactly where you are. You're in hell. And when the laugh track really does start, you're about to spend eternity being hunted for sport, over and over again. And by what? Well, what's the worst thing you can imagine?Yes, exactly as terrible as that.
Tragedy #322
You just checked, didn’t you?
